Why Is My Child Waking Up So Much Overnight: Putting Yourself In Their Shoes
There are several main reasons children wake up overnight. The most common reasons are that;
they are heavily dependent on something to fall asleep
they are not getting adequate daytime sleep
their bedtime is too late.
Genuine hunger (over 9 months) could be a cause for waking but it is not likely if your child is getting adequate nutrition during the daytime.
Walk with me through a scenario; you, an adult, fall asleep in your room, in your bed at bedtime. All humans wake and check their surroundings during the night without even remembering it. It’s the middle of the night, you are about to transition into your next sleep cycle, you partially rouse and suddenly you notice something is off, so you start to wake more and more. You realize that you are not in your bed anymore. You are in your living room and you have NO idea how you got there! You are surprised, groggy and VERY frustrated!
This is very similar to what a child experiences when the circumstances in which they fell asleep are different from when they rouse to transition through a sleep cycle. So let’s just say you have a 12 month old who needs to feed to fall asleep. They wake 2-3x at night and the only thing that settles them is a feed, even though they’re barely eating anything. Or you have a 16 month old who needs to be rocked to sleep and then every couple of hours overnight.
Those things that were once soothing and simple as young babies, are likely now causing you child to wake up looking for those things.
So what do you do from here;
The first thing that I would do is make sure your child is eating enough during the day. If a child is in good health, this is typically a box that is easily checked.
After that I would be paying attention to their daytime sleep needs; are they napping enough for their age? Are they being kept awake longer than they can handle. Often what a child needs in terms of daytime sleep might not be what we consider convenient for our busy lives, but it can make the difference between a content child and an overtired child. When children lack adequate sleep the body shifts into fight or flight mode and produces cortisol- a stress hormone- in order to stay awake longer and function. This hugely contributes to night wakings and early morning wakings. Head to my cheat sheet to download your free waketimes schedule here.
Bedtime might be too early or it might be too late. The sweet spot for sleep is between 6-8pm, no later. Children who go to bed early wake up early. Children who go to bed late, still wake up early, but might not be meeting their minimum sleep needs. Children need 10.5-12 hours of night sleep.
If you know your child is getting adequate daytime sleep and has a proper bedtime but is still waking frequently overnight, I would then consider WHAT it is they are waking for. Is it to feed? Be rocked? Bounced? If this is interfering with their sleep, the next step would be to wean from the crutch that is contributing to their wakings. This is where sleep training comes in.
Some people are turned off by the words sleep training right away but I encourage parents to explore all of the different ways there are to sleep train. I firmly believe there is something for everyone. We all have different parenting styles and family dynamics, but sleep deprivation does not have to be the one commonality.
If you would like to read about the different ways to sleep train, please click here.
If you’re interested in getting help sleep training, book a FREE Discovery Call below.
For more sleep help, head to my instagram and join me for Sleep Tip Tuesday, every Tuesday in my stories!
Sweet Dreams,
Lexi